An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
