Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Farmville is her only friend.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
