You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
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