it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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