he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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