I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
