sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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