After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
