her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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