4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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