then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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