are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
