I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
