It's like a parade of train wrecks.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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