Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
