peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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