There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
