Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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