you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
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