omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
