Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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