Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
