When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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