playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
