I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize
