"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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