They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
