is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
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