I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
