Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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