I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
