the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize