Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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