I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
