i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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