I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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