Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Randomize
