Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
worst night to have a conscience
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
