the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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