Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
