I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
