Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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