At least make sure they are 18
Why
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
