I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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