can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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