That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
