cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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