and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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