Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
