I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
MIDGETS
????
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
